( he's mad. he's so fucking angry. Β and the way he slams into qiu's room is an obvious show of that emotion, the heat of it pouring off of him as he kicks the door closed and immediately drops to sit on the floor near the foot of the bed.
he'd been pouting off and on since their last discussion, meeting, whatever jinu's calling it these days. how they're close to their goal—just one more show, and it'll be over. then what? what was he going to do? go back under and continue on with the charade he'd fostered for centuries? allow himself to be tortured once more beneath gwi-ma's voice? since the saja boys' popularity, the reach of it had grown quieter, and when he'd started dating qiu, it had silenced itself entirely. but it's beginning to scratch at his brain again, annoying and constant, and baby's vibrating with it to the point of breaking something.Β
or crying.Β
but he really, really, really, really doesn't want to do that.
so, instead, he sulks. and debates on his options, fiddling with his phone and hovering over the chatbox he has with qiu in an effort to calm himself. it doesn't help, and he's typing an insane string of texts that's both unusual and almost too manic for him. )
need to see u ur room when ur free
i'm fineΒ
( except he's not, and all of this has gotten so out of control. he's expected to end things with qiu and be ready to move on to their next plan after tonight. and.Β and.Β and...
baby curls in on himself, arms over his head as if that alone would save him from this disaster. )
[ the texts catch qiu in the middle of making a final sale. he's signing the credit card receipt with one hand, fishing his vibrating phone with the other, and he's half-reading the texts on his way out of the store, his precious purchase carefully in hand β
and then he's racing to his parked car, all but jumping in the second he gets close. he sends his own hasty text, trying not to let his mind wander with all the different possibilities baby could be in such distress. ]
i'm on my way eta 12
[ he makes it there in ten. takes large strides and all but bullrushes past the stationed guards, whomever might not have been fortunate enough to recognize him from the get-go. this hotel has been nice thus far, and very little fans seemed to have sussed them out here, so the guard detail had been low. by the time he makes it to his room, the keycard is swiped without a second thought.
his heart drops to the pit of his stomach when he sees baby there, curled up on the ground. the purchase he'd made that had once seemed so precious minutes earlier is now but a distant thought, carelessly dropped to the ground as qiu himself drops to his knees, right in front of the other. ]
Baby. [ hands to his arms, trying to peel them off. ] Baby, what's wrong?
( it doesn't take much to recognize qiu so close to him, resisting very little at the effort to pull his arms away. he hasn't been crying, but it's close enough that his eyes are strained from it, the same soft red as his cheeks. what's harder is looking qiu in the face, his expression twisted with a thousand different thoughts and feelings—most of them negative and volatile.
eventually, slowly, all he can manage is the slightest shake of his head. )
We have a show tonight, ( he begins, his voice thick with the ache crawling up from his chest to settle into his throat. ) Our last one.
( baby doesn't bother explaining. he could mean their last one before a break or many other reasons that wouldn't seem so final. but if they succeed – or even fail – he won't have to put on a front any longer, and everything they'd worked so hard for would fall apart.
maybe it's why he slides forward and holds on to qiu, seeking out any part of him to kiss. soft at first, at his shoulder and then his chest. then a little more frantic, finding his jaw and the corner of his mouth as his fingers dig into him. if he lets go, this would be it. this could be the only moment he has with him, and it isn't fair. if he had a soul to sell, he'd sell it all over again. but this time, for qiu. )
I don't want to stop seeing you. ( he kisses it into his lips. ) You're the only thing I want.
[ for a wild moment there, qiu was convinced he'd see tears in baby's eyes — a sight he's convinced would wreck him completely. somehow, seeing the strain with which baby is so clearly trying not to cry feels infinitely worse, and qiu can't help but feel as if he's failed the other somehow. he's his bodyguard, isn't he? his boyfriend. isn't he supposed to be protecting baby, preventing him from ever looking like this?
without hesitation, qiu's arms fold snug around the other man's smaller frame. however close baby wants to get, qiu lets him. pulls him in even closer, nearly onto his lap, one hand cradling the back of baby's cotton-candy colored head to keep him close, keep him steady.
but while qiu's body provides the other man some form of stability, his mind races at a million thoughts per hour. what happened, exactly, what would have baby speaking so defeatedly? haven't they been careful? ]
Baby, [ his name gets kissed out of qiu's lips; he has to draw away a little just to get the rest of his words out. ] What are you talking about?
Have we — [ what else could it be? ] — did someone catch us?
( usually, he's more than comforted by the familiar weight of qiu's arms around him. whatever worries he might have feel insignificant when they're together, when this man – this stupid and beautiful and mortal man – holds him like he matters. like it's the beginning and end of everything—what they've built between them.
but this time, the sense of foreboding is so strong that even qiu can't ease it. )
No. ( his answer is certain, lacking hesitation. ) I just...
( he swallows around the discomfort continuing to build, an anxiety that's so overpowering he nearly forgets to breathe. even in his life before, the bits and pieces he can remember, there had never been anything like this. it's too much emotion, too much rawness, and all baby can do is cup qiu's face in his hands and look at him. )
I have to tell you something. But ( he sucks in a breath, ) you won't believe me, and even if you do, the others – they might kill you.
[ qiu stills as baby holds him, hunkered down enough that he feels almost silly like this. he can tell baby is being serious, or at least acting very well at it, and he does his best to match the gravity of the situation, but he can't help how his mind kind of stutters a little at that declaration. ]
The others...
[ he trails off, in a tone flat enough that he's certain it will prompt baby to finally drop his punchline, because for all that qiu had been so worried mere seconds prior, he can do little else but just sort of... stare at baby now.
because, honestly. what? ]
Romance, [ he continues after a beat too long, as if to remind baby what is it here he's trying to say. abby could, perhaps, give qiu a proper workout (but there is something muscles for strength and muscles for aesthetics). sure, even mystery could give him the slip, the man is unpredictable (and sometimes, feral) enough.
( he understands what he's getting at and slowly shakes his head. but not to disagree with him. it's an attempt at levity, his hands dropping from qiu's face as he pushes him back enough to make space between them.
because he has to stand, has to move. )
All of them, ( baby says, slowly getting to his feet. the outfit he'd been given for their final show had been tossed carelessly on the bed, a crumpled pile of black against pale sheets. ) Especially Jinu. He's the reason I'm here.
( this life, this opportunity... he'd only met qiu because of him, and he doesn't want to consider what that actually means.
instead, he tries to focus on qiu, watching him beneath a half-lidded look that conceals the majority of his thoughts now. he's going to break so many rules doing this, and unlike his relationship with qiu, it's going to endanger them both. but it's a truth he's wanted to tell him for so long, a part of him that gets buried in the lifestyle of an idol and a romance with his bodyguard. and he's frowning at his hands as he speaks. )
Remember when I asked if you'd give me your soul? ( baby doesn't wait for an answer, slowly curling his fingers into his palms. ) That's the whole point of the Saja Boys. We sing, and those stupid people love us so much for it that they're going to give us everything. Because we're demons.
( it sounds ridiculous, but baby can't stop now. ) I'm a demon, Qiu. And this show – this show is it.
[ when baby draws away, qiu realizes there is no joke to be found here. that for however perplexed he is, however absurd it all seems, baby is being 100% serious. perhaps the most serious he's ever been.
it's... a lot to process. and qiu likes to think of himself a man who is hard to catch off guard. not necessarily unflappable, but as close to it as one can get while still retaining some warmth. turns out, for all that he's ever tried to prepared to everything and anything, there are truly some things here far, far beyond his understanding.
a demon. a demon. qiu can sense baby is being honest here, and yet there is still that instinctive part of him waiting on that poorly-timed punchline. because how can that be true? how can baby be β that?
sitting back, he stares at baby unblinking. maybe "demon" is supposed to scare him, but right now all he can feel is confusion. this whole thing was... what? a scam? for souls?
(he tries not to think what might have happened, that night baby had asked for his soul. how things might have been so very different, if qiu had told him yes.) ]
( the silence coming from qiu unnerves him. he's gotten so good at reading the pauses, his expressions when they're supposed to mask his thoughts, but baby's so highly strung that without any comment from qiu, he begins to pace. begins to think of the most impossible things.
they could run. but where? he could try to disappear, but gwi-ma's power over him would make it absolutely unbearable.
or he could... he could give qiu up. he could, and it would hurt. it would hurt to the point of numbness, making performing easier. and then he'd go back to the lifeless drag of being a demon, of being no one.
his thoughts race so quickly he almost misses when qiu finally speaks. )
I don't know, ( he says reluctantly, moving until he sits in one of the chairs across the room. ) Everything's supposed to change. ( baby draws his legs up and slips his arms around them. ) If you want details, ask Jinu.
[ ask jinu. it ranks quite high on the list of things that qiu absolutely does not want to do right now, most of all because it would require him to separate from baby. and that feels like it would be a colossal mistake to do right now.
still, there is a very specific part of qiu's brain that itches not knowing the details. he spares a few seconds to bury a wince between the pinch of his fingers, catching there along the bridge of his nose. ]
Alright, [ he says. it's meant to reorient himself. focus. ] Alright.
[ without all the information at hand, there is very little he can do or affect right now. so he brings his attention back to baby — the only goddamn thing that matters here anyway. bringing himself right up to that seat baby occupies, qiu frames the other's smaller body with his arms, resting on opposite arm rests. ]
So you're a demon. [ it feels weird on his tongue, but it doesn't for a second occur to qiu that he could be lying. ] You need the souls... to live? Is it food?
[ baby may not know much about the grander plan, but there ought to be some things he can tell him anyway. ]
( qiu's acceptance of the fact is either too quick or just impossible, but baby isn't logically thinking about any of it. the fear of separation, of knowing the pain of a broken heart and being able to do nothing about it—it catches him so off-guard that he's motionless. he doesn't even settle when qiu traps him within the confines of his arms, leaving no room to do anything but look at him.
slowly, almost carefully, he shakes his head. )
They're for Gwi-ma. ( strangely enough, he whispers the demon lord's name as though speaking it too loudly would draw his attention. ) He rules over us. Demons. ( there's another pause, once again uncertain. ) And he's been trapped by the Honmoon for so long... If we do this show, he'll be free.
( he's yet to explain about the honmoon and huntrix, how they're all related. how all of it's just been for this one thing. before, baby had been happy to comply—almost thrilled to do it. it meant leaving the demon realm and living in this luxury lifestyle of an idol. it meant experiencing a taste of freedom that he hadn't had in centuries. nowhere in all of that had he planned on falling in love with qiu.
baby looks at him then, shrinking down into the chair. )
He'll take every soul he can find then. Yours too. ( and that would be the end of it. )
[ there had been a moment there, where qiu had been so focused on problem-solving that the worry began to seep into his expression, softening the usually hard edges of his seemingly perpetual scowl. but the second baby mentions gwi-ma, the instant qiu realizes none of this is for baby himself, qiu's expression shutters up again. his eyes grow cold and sharp, and his answer is swift. ]
Not a fucking chance.
[ maybe, if it were just for baby, then maybe...
it doesn't matter. there's no point in thinking about what-ifs.
taking baby's hand in his, he gives it a brief squeeze. there are still options here β there has to be. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Β
and the way he slams into qiu's room is an obvious show of that emotion, the heat of it pouring off of him as he kicks the door closed and immediately drops to sit on the floor near the foot of the bed.
he'd been pouting off and on since their last discussion, meeting, whatever jinu's calling it these days. how they're close to their goal—just one more show, and it'll be over. then what? what was he going to do? go back under and continue on with the charade he'd fostered for centuries? allow himself to be tortured once more beneath gwi-ma's voice? since the saja boys' popularity, the reach of it had grown quieter, and when he'd started dating qiu, it had silenced itself entirely. but it's beginning to scratch at his brain again, annoying and constant, and baby's vibrating with it to the point of breaking something.Β
or crying.Β
but he really, really, really, really doesn't want to do that.
so, instead, he sulks. and debates on his options, fiddling with his phone and hovering over the chatbox he has with qiu in an effort to calm himself. it doesn't help, and he's typing an insane string of texts that's both unusual and almost too manic for him. )
need to see u
ur room
when ur free
i'm fineΒ
( except he's not, and all of this has gotten so out of control. he's expected to end things with qiu and be ready to move on to their next plan after tonight. and.Β and.Β and...
baby curls in on himself, arms over his head as if that alone would save him from this disaster. )
no subject
and then he's racing to his parked car, all but jumping in the second he gets close. he sends his own hasty text, trying not to let his mind wander with all the different possibilities baby could be in such distress. ]
i'm on my way
eta 12
[ he makes it there in ten. takes large strides and all but bullrushes past the stationed guards, whomever might not have been fortunate enough to recognize him from the get-go. this hotel has been nice thus far, and very little fans seemed to have sussed them out here, so the guard detail had been low. by the time he makes it to his room, the keycard is swiped without a second thought.
his heart drops to the pit of his stomach when he sees baby there, curled up on the ground. the purchase he'd made that had once seemed so precious minutes earlier is now but a distant thought, carelessly dropped to the ground as qiu himself drops to his knees, right in front of the other. ]
Baby. [ hands to his arms, trying to peel them off. ] Baby, what's wrong?
no subject
eventually, slowly, all he can manage is the slightest shake of his head. )
We have a show tonight, ( he begins, his voice thick with the ache crawling up from his chest to settle into his throat. ) Our last one.
( baby doesn't bother explaining. he could mean their last one before a break or many other reasons that wouldn't seem so final. but if they succeed – or even fail – he won't have to put on a front any longer, and everything they'd worked so hard for would fall apart.
maybe it's why he slides forward and holds on to qiu, seeking out any part of him to kiss. soft at first, at his shoulder and then his chest. then a little more frantic, finding his jaw and the corner of his mouth as his fingers dig into him. if he lets go, this would be it. this could be the only moment he has with him, and it isn't fair. if he had a soul to sell, he'd sell it all over again. but this time, for qiu. )
I don't want to stop seeing you. ( he kisses it into his lips. ) You're the only thing I want.
no subject
without hesitation, qiu's arms fold snug around the other man's smaller frame. however close baby wants to get, qiu lets him. pulls him in even closer, nearly onto his lap, one hand cradling the back of baby's cotton-candy colored head to keep him close, keep him steady.
but while qiu's body provides the other man some form of stability, his mind races at a million thoughts per hour. what happened, exactly, what would have baby speaking so defeatedly? haven't they been careful? ]
Baby, [ his name gets kissed out of qiu's lips; he has to draw away a little just to get the rest of his words out. ] What are you talking about?
Have we — [ what else could it be? ] — did someone catch us?
not me immediately breathing all over this
but this time, the sense of foreboding is so strong that even qiu can't ease it. )
No. ( his answer is certain, lacking hesitation. ) I just...
( he swallows around the discomfort continuing to build, an anxiety that's so overpowering he nearly forgets to breathe. even in his life before, the bits and pieces he can remember, there had never been anything like this. it's too much emotion, too much rawness, and all baby can do is cup qiu's face in his hands and look at him. )
I have to tell you something. But ( he sucks in a breath, ) you won't believe me, and even if you do, the others – they might kill you.
( and he doesn't know which is worse. )
ππ
The others...
[ he trails off, in a tone flat enough that he's certain it will prompt baby to finally drop his punchline, because for all that qiu had been so worried mere seconds prior, he can do little else but just sort of... stare at baby now.
because, honestly. what? ]
Romance, [ he continues after a beat too long, as if to remind baby what is it here he's trying to say. abby could, perhaps, give qiu a proper workout (but there is something muscles for strength and muscles for aesthetics). sure, even mystery could give him the slip, the man is unpredictable (and sometimes, feral) enough.
but romance? jinu? come on. ]
no subject
because he has to stand, has to move. )
All of them, ( baby says, slowly getting to his feet. the outfit he'd been given for their final show had been tossed carelessly on the bed, a crumpled pile of black against pale sheets. ) Especially Jinu. He's the reason I'm here.
( this life, this opportunity... he'd only met qiu because of him, and he doesn't want to consider what that actually means.
instead, he tries to focus on qiu, watching him beneath a half-lidded look that conceals the majority of his thoughts now. he's going to break so many rules doing this, and unlike his relationship with qiu, it's going to endanger them both. but it's a truth he's wanted to tell him for so long, a part of him that gets buried in the lifestyle of an idol and a romance with his bodyguard. and he's frowning at his hands as he speaks. )
Remember when I asked if you'd give me your soul? ( baby doesn't wait for an answer, slowly curling his fingers into his palms. ) That's the whole point of the Saja Boys. We sing, and those stupid people love us so much for it that they're going to give us everything. Because we're demons.
( it sounds ridiculous, but baby can't stop now. ) I'm a demon, Qiu. And this show – this show is it.
( the end of the saja boys. the end of them. )
no subject
it's... a lot to process. and qiu likes to think of himself a man who is hard to catch off guard. not necessarily unflappable, but as close to it as one can get while still retaining some warmth. turns out, for all that he's ever tried to prepared to everything and anything, there are truly some things here far, far beyond his understanding.
a demon. a demon. qiu can sense baby is being honest here, and yet there is still that instinctive part of him waiting on that poorly-timed punchline. because how can that be true? how can baby be β that?
sitting back, he stares at baby unblinking. maybe "demon" is supposed to scare him, but right now all he can feel is confusion. this whole thing was... what? a scam? for souls?
(he tries not to think what might have happened, that night baby had asked for his soul. how things might have been so very different, if qiu had told him yes.) ]
What happens after the show?
[ the end can mean so many things, after all. ]
no subject
they could run. but where? he could try to disappear, but gwi-ma's power over him would make it absolutely unbearable.
or he could... he could give qiu up. he could, and it would hurt. it would hurt to the point of numbness, making performing easier. and then he'd go back to the lifeless drag of being a demon, of being no one.
his thoughts race so quickly he almost misses when qiu finally speaks. )
I don't know, ( he says reluctantly, moving until he sits in one of the chairs across the room. ) Everything's supposed to change. ( baby draws his legs up and slips his arms around them. ) If you want details, ask Jinu.
( and he absolutely sounds bitter about it. )
no subject
still, there is a very specific part of qiu's brain that itches not knowing the details. he spares a few seconds to bury a wince between the pinch of his fingers, catching there along the bridge of his nose. ]
Alright, [ he says. it's meant to reorient himself. focus. ] Alright.
[ without all the information at hand, there is very little he can do or affect right now. so he brings his attention back to baby — the only goddamn thing that matters here anyway. bringing himself right up to that seat baby occupies, qiu frames the other's smaller body with his arms, resting on opposite arm rests. ]
So you're a demon. [ it feels weird on his tongue, but it doesn't for a second occur to qiu that he could be lying. ] You need the souls... to live? Is it food?
[ baby may not know much about the grander plan, but there ought to be some things he can tell him anyway. ]
no subject
slowly, almost carefully, he shakes his head. )
They're for Gwi-ma. ( strangely enough, he whispers the demon lord's name as though speaking it too loudly would draw his attention. ) He rules over us. Demons. ( there's another pause, once again uncertain. ) And he's been trapped by the Honmoon for so long... If we do this show, he'll be free.
( he's yet to explain about the honmoon and huntrix, how they're all related. how all of it's just been for this one thing. before, baby had been happy to comply—almost thrilled to do it. it meant leaving the demon realm and living in this luxury lifestyle of an idol. it meant experiencing a taste of freedom that he hadn't had in centuries. nowhere in all of that had he planned on falling in love with qiu.
baby looks at him then, shrinking down into the chair. )
He'll take every soul he can find then. Yours too. ( and that would be the end of it. )
no subject
Not a fucking chance.
[ maybe, if it were just for baby, then maybe...
it doesn't matter. there's no point in thinking about what-ifs.
taking baby's hand in his, he gives it a brief squeeze. there are still options here β there has to be. ]
What if he doesn't get free? What happens to you?